The Prodigal Returns… (a kind of personal post)

Posted by Jessi (Geo) on April 14, 2015 | 10 Comments

Hello loverlies!!!!

Holy crap you don’t know how much I’ve missed you all. How much I’ve missed blogging.

I’m sorry I’ve been absent lately, and you haven’t heard from me. I’m sorry that I disappeared with no explanation. I didn’t post anything official stating I’d be gone for a while because I personally hate the word “hiatus” and all of the guilt it brings. I didn’t want to take a hiatus, but I needed a break for a little bit. And once I stepped away, I realized how much I missed it.

The month of March was awful. I adopted a bunch of new hobbies and there were so many things I wanted to accomplish all the time. I wanted to do ALL THE THINGS, but when I didn’t have time or energy to do them, it bummed me out. So I did nothing. Then I got more bummed out. (It’s a vicious cycle.) I think I was just trying to take on too much and burned myself out. The shitty weather also didn’t help. I had a lot of other things piling up – financial stress, car problems (lots of them), stress at work…and it was really bringing me down. I started feeling depressed and unmotivated. I wasn’t enjoying the things I usually enjoy doing. I had literally NO desire to do anything. I moped a lot, slept a lot, and cried a lot. I was in a pretty dark place for about a month. The past few days have been the first good days I’ve had for a while.

I was doing SO good on blogging and reading in January and February, too. I was 3 weeks ahead on posts and more than a month ahead on reviews. I was 10 books ahead of schedule on my reading goal. I was reading 12-15 books a month. Then March came and I just….stopped. I only finished 3 books in March, and that was a struggle. The book that threw me into a reading slump was Mistborn. Actually, I shouldn’t even blame that book, because I re-read my favorite series (The Wayfarer Redemption), and after that nothing could really compare. That’s probably what started it, to be honest. I wanted more high fantasy, so I picked up Mistborn, but it just didn’t do it for me. 140 pages in and I was bored half to death! That was around the time that things started to happen in other areas of life: Car dies, we borrow parents’ car, that one dies, we fix it, it dies again, then they take it back and we have to fix the other one, too; then it was Spring Break week at work and 90% of the dogs and people were raging assholes; I had issues with a coworker, and I was already feeling low emotionally and spiritually…and all of that piled up was just too much. I was practically having a breakdown because I couldn’t take it. I started feeling really hopeless and negative, and all of those toxic black thoughts kept swirling around and multiplying and I couldn’t shake it.

A lot of the stress has waned now, and I honestly think the thing I needed most was some sunshine. All of the dreary gray was so not helping! The past few days have been gorgeous, and I’ve been trying to work on calming my mind and letting go. I’ve been feeling so much better! I’ve got a lot of catching up to do now, though. I’m currently NINE reviews behind, I haven’t handled the Life of a Blogger situation, and I have an enormous book haul from the past month to put together. But I can do this! (I just have to keep telling myself that.)

I just want to say thank you to everyone who has stuck with me through thick and thin, and thank you to anyone who is still reading this right now. You guys are seriously amazing! <3

Jessi (Geo)

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10 responses to “The Prodigal Returns… (a kind of personal post)

  1. It’s nice to hear from you Jessi! I can TOTALLY relate to you on this:

    “The month of March was awful. I adopted a bunch of new hobbies and there were so many things I wanted to accomplish all the time. I wanted to do ALL THE THINGS, but when I didn’t have time or energy to do them, it bummed me out. So I did nothing.”

    I haven’t been adopting new hobbies, but I’ve been struggling to juggle all my projects. I want to do SO MANY THINGS but then I end up doing nothing.. Or I want to do everything so I work on one thing for a while, then jump to the next for a while, etc. And that results in me only making a tiny amount of progress in each thing so it FEELS like I’ve accomplished nothing.


    And girl, send me your crappy weather! I’m the opposite of you in that the sun comes out and I get mopy. I like cold weather so I can wear socks and bundle up and drink hot chocolate. Warm weather makes me feel hot and lazy and gross and just UGH.

  2. Aww, we all have those moments Jessi. Sometimes life gets too much or too stressful and the best way to recover if to be off the grid or avoid things that may cause stress. I can definitely relate as well.

    When I started Uni, I was literally struggling to blog. Time was short, books were hard to find, inspiration for posts were easily forgotten. There was a time that I only wrote a post once a month (or was it in two months?) it was hard, I actually thought of quitting blogging permanently, but honestly, after a few months, it all came back. Tho I have a reading issue now, I think I can get over it, and I’m sure you will too!

    I hope that you have a more creative, fruitfull and less stressful month for April Jessi! I can’t wait to see more of you! :D

  3. Oh my god, Mistborn totally threw me into a reading slump as well. I got bored around page 200 and wrestled my way through it because I just had to finish it. Worst decision ever.

    I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better now! Spring has finally sprung, and nothing better than some sunshine to get rid of dark thoughts (: Don’t worry about catching up with blogging, your readers will await anything you’re posting patiently. Sending you happy thoughts ^_^

  4. I literally have a post going up tomorrow about how Jan and Feb were great months for me and March bit ass, hopefully it’s behind now and we can get back into the swing of things, though my lack of motivation is more having a “meh” month than it is anything too serious – mostly distractions, family stuff, feeling “meh”, did I say that already?? Hope things are on the up for you now and you can get back a sense of happiness this month :D R x

  5. Glad to have ya back Jessi! Life is really tough sometimes and it’s never a bad thing to take the time you need to center again. We ALL go through it. Winter blues are behind us and the sunshine will definetly help!! I’m glad things are on the up and up. I always tell myself life is all about ebbs and flows. Things aren’t going to be great all the time but they will get better again. I was just looking at the dragons I got from you and thinking how cool are you for being able to make those bad boys! Bloggin will always be here so don’t feel guilty for life getting a bit in the way ❤️

  6. Aw Jessi! I didn’t know any of this. Really, if I were you, I would drop a few of the hobbies and just try to go easy on EVERYTHING and that’ll make things easier. I know the feeling of trying to do everything and instead, doing nothing all too well so I feel for you

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