Books I Didn’t Finish: March 2013

iBoy by Kevin Brooks
Published by Chicken House (11.1.2011)
ARC, 288 pages
Source: ARCycling
Goodreads

What can he do with his new powers — and what are they doing to him?

Before the attack, Tom Harvey was just an average teen. But a head-on collision with high technology has turned him into an actualized App. Fragments of a shattered iPhone are embedded in his brain. And they’re having an extraordinary effect on his every thought.

Because now Tom knows, sees, and can do more than any normal boy ever could. But with his new powers comes a choice: To avenge Lucy, the girl he loves, will he hunt down the vicious gangsters who hurt her? Will he take the law into his own electric hands and exterminate them from the South London housing projects where, by fear and violence, they rule?

Not even his mental search engine can predict the shocking outcome of iBoy’s actions.

 This was really more of Middle Grade than Young Adult. While the concept was cool, the writing was flat and boring. And so were the characters. The idea of a boy getting pieces of an iPhone embedded into his brain, thus developing the power to do some awesome things, was very neat and original. But the delivery was horrific. The way things were explained was a train wreck. It was all over the place, and repetitive – I felt like I was running up a downward escalator. It was exhausting!

And the text talk, really? Who the hell actually talks like that? I understand using 2 and u instead of the real words, but come on. People don’t abbreviate EVERYTHING. I don’t know even one single person that texts like that. I actually had trouble figuring out what the text messages were supposed to be saying. Plus there were WAY too many dots in the conversations. The pages were so overloaded with “blah blah….” pauses that it was distracting and made my brain hurt. What’s wrong with using a f*cking period?

I was bored out of my mind and I didn’t give a crap about the story or the characters. I couldn’t bring myself to get past 100 pages.

The Devil’s Triangle by Toni De Palma
Published by Crescent Moon Press (2.15.2011)
ebook, 288 pages
Source: From the publicist
Goodreads

When 17 year old Cooper dies in an attempt to burn down his school, he finds himself in the afterlife. Lucy, the Devil’s sister who has crossed party lines, decides to give Cooper another shot at heaven. The deal? Cooper returns to Earth and has to find a girl named Grace. The rest is up to him.

While Cooper figures out his mission, he’s thrown into the life he’s always wanted. Great parents, a spot on the Varsity football team and a real future are all within reach. But what he really wants is Grace, a feisty girl with an abusive boyfriend who can pound Cooper into pulp if he doesn’t watch out.

While Lucy plays demonic-puppeteer, clues to an unknown past between Cooper and Grace start to unravel. Cooper discovers that what’s keeping him and Grace apart is far more sinister than anything this bad boy could have ever imagined.

My main problem was that I couldn’t stand the main character, Cooper. He was rude and judgmental, and he had a snide remark about everyone. Like, ‘When Ayslan opened her mouth, she was like a geyser. Big words exploded out of her. The only thing cuddling up with her at night was the dictionary.‘ Just because you’re too much of an imbecile to understand those words doesn’t mean she’s a loser. You’re just jealous that only half of your brain functions because the other half is too busy supplying blood to other parts of your anatomy.

The innuendos were too much for me. I found myself frequently rolling my eyes at the ridiculous and cheesy terminology, such as ‘producing a tectonic shift  in my pants,’ or ‘take a ride on my stone pony,’ or ‘I would have rolled myself all up in her like a dog in a big pile of dung.‘ OH and my personal favorite, ‘Woodstock erupted inside me and the butterflies wore peace signs on their breasts and tiny mud boots on their tiny insect feet as they trudged through the sea of mud and love.‘ ….are you freaking kidding me? Seriously. Ughhhh! *bangs head against wall* The book was full of stuff like that, and I swear if I’d have rolled my eyes one more time they would have popped out of their sockets.

Then the plot took a ridiculous turn and it was so far-fetched and absurd that I couldn’t bring myself to continue. View Spoiler »Lucifer himself broke up Grace’s and Cooper’s relationship because ‘He hates human love. It threatens him.’ Um? Because the Devil cares about one ‘love’ between two teenagers, sabotaging everything they do (including filling up Cooper’s mother’s voice mailbox so he couldn’t call for help…really?) and making sure they can’t ever be together. Because of course that happens ALL the time. (And did I mention that the words ‘Lucifer’s minions’ were actually used?) « Hide Spoiler *eye roll*

*frantically scrabbles to keep eyeballs in head*

Related Posts