Life of a Blogger: Fears

Posted by Jessi (Geo) on August 28, 2014 | 13 Comments

lifeofbloggerSee the full list of topics HERE.

Last week’s topic: Couponing! (freebie topic)

This week’s topic: Fears

This is kind of a hard one for me, because there’s not much that actually scares me. I can watch ANY horror movie without batting an eyelash, and no movie I’ve ever seen has scared me. There have been a couple that kind of creeped me out (um, The Hills Have Eyes *cringes*), but none have made me feel fear. Maybe because I know it’s not real? Who knows. But I usually find most “horror” movies as more of comedy than actual horror.

I’ve got a few very minor “phobias” that are more like strong distaste than actual fear, and those are:

  1. Spiders. The only bug that can turn me into a squealing girly girl! I hate spiders. If they’re small, I’ll screech and then stomp the crap out of it, but I won’t go anywhere near a spider if it’s bigger than a dime.
  2. Woods in the dark. Only because I don’t know what is out there! We used to have coyotes around my parents’ house, and even though I know they’re probably more afraid of me than I am of them, I was still freaked out to go near the woods at night. Have you ever heard them celebrate after a kill? Makes your arm hair stand on end…
  3. Video. I have this weird phobia of being recorded. And no candid pictures for me!
  4. Talking on the phone. Again, more of a strong distaste hatred than fear. I avoid it at all costs!
  5. Change. I’m a creature of habit, so I don’t like things to be changed unless they have to be. I don’t adapt well to the changing of things that have been the same and that I’ve gotten used to.
  6. This is going to sound really dumb, but I’m afraid of running over cats while driving. I’ve hit two before, and both times were absolutely awful. I am afraid to drive on back roads at night because I don’t want another cat running out in front of me. One of those times was on my way to work at 6am…I pulled over and went back for it, and it was just laying in the road twitching and bleeding. I had a moment of panic where I thought about calling my vet (one of the perks of working at a vet is you have a Dr. on call 24/7), but it was clearly too late. The worst part is that it was still very young, no more than 6 months. It died in my arms. :( I was a complete wreck when I finally got to work.

Now on to the real fear. The only true fear I have, the one that paralyzes me to even think about.

Losing my parents.

In truth it’s losing anyone I love, but I guess because everyone else is still so young I just don’t see it happening. Kind of like how I don’t fear death because I’m only 26 – yes, it could happen, but what are the odds of that? When you’re young you seem invincible.

My parents are getting up there in age. I know it, they know it. They both have some health concerns. They’ve even talked about what ifs briefly. In 2010, my mom had bariatric (weight loss) surgery and she almost didn’t make it. It was probably the worst year of my life.

There was an instance with my dad, too – it was just the two of us, and he choked on something he was eating. But he literally wasn’t breathing, to the point that his face started turning purple. It was the most harrowing 30 seconds of my life, because I had an instant of mind-numbing panic – what do I do? Do I call an ambulance? Will they even make it in time?? – before I decided that I was going to do the Heimlich. Thankfully it didn’t come to that, he was able to dislodge whatever he was choking on. But still. That moment of paralyzing fear will stick with me for the rest of my life. It upsets me just to think about it. That is the only time I’ve ever felt true fear, and I hope I never have to feel that again.

If you didn’t know already from reading my posts, I have a very good relationship with my parents. I lived with them up until 3 months ago, at nearly 26 years of age, and their loving company is all I’d ever known my whole life until that point. I’ve had people tell me I need to prepare for a future without them, but I just can’t do it. I can’t even begin to think about it. In fact, I’m crying right now just writing this post.

Next week’s topic: Fitness

Your turn! Make your own post telling everyone about your fears and link up :)

Jessi (Geo)

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13 responses to “Life of a Blogger: Fears

  1. Like you, I don’t have many fears and I laugh at horror movies too. I do have a strong fear of falling, so I don’t like ladders or being up high without a good railing. I don’t mind spiders that we have around here as long as they leave me alone, but big hairy ones, can stay away.

    For the fear of losing someone close to you, I lost my father and both of his parents all within one year of each other when I was eight. I think I had eight human deaths and two dogs that I was raised with and knew all my life. It was a tough time. It made me learn how to deal with loss, change and to appreciate what I have.

    On a lighter note, I have some fear of next week’s topic. LOL

    • I’m afraid of falling, too! That’s what kept me from skateboarding, even though I wanted to try it.

      Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry to hear that. I can’t even imagine.

      Haha, me too! It’s something I’m struggling with lately and need to work on…

  2. Losing a loved one is one of my fears too :( I already lost my dad-like figure, my grandpa, about 3 years ago. I miss him so very much. My grandma and mom are both getting up there in age as well, so it’s terrifying to think about.

  3. I have a fear of losing my parents and my kids and my husband. I think I can put it as all my loved ones. My grandmother isnt doing well and we know it will happen (she’s 92). She has been a huge part of my life for 40 years and it scares me to think of her not being here.

    (the linky isn’t showing up for some reason, I’ll come back later and link up) :)

  4. I’m sooo with you on #1 (spiders) and #4 (talking on the phone). Like… those fears are almost crippling. I think talking on the phone is just weird for me because I CONSTANTLY worry about not being able to understand the other person, and I’m not very good at speaking on my feet. I think I’m good at communicating online because I have time to write out what I’m saying and read it over. But when you talk on the phone, there is no time! I just suck at making sure I ask the right questions and stuff.

    And I know what you mean about parents… I worry about it too. :( My parents are pretty old. To be fair, none of them have any major health problems. They’re both super healthy and active in their lives. But I’m only 23 and my dad is over 70! So even if he is healthy, he’s still old… and the thought of my parents not being around long enough to see grand kids makes me so sad. :(

    • I’m not good at speaking on my feet, either! I hate it when a client calls to check on their dog at work because I’m so awkward on the phone. “Um…yeah, your dog was good. He did just fine. He was a good dog. Yep. He was…good.” Same here! I feel that way about having to hash out serious issues, because I have trouble communicating how I feel in person, and it comes out all wrong (usually resulting in me making things even worse). It’s SO much easier when I can type out a draft and edit my thoughts as they come to me.

      It sounds like our dads had us at about the same age. My dad is 72 and I’m 26! Yes, same here. I want my daddy to be there to walk me down the aisle and I want my children to grow up with their grandparents.

  5. I am terrfied of bugs and spiders, too! They’re my #1 fear, aside from deep personal ones, I guess. I can really relate to your fear of losing your parents (but not of old age), since my dad has been sick for a while now with issues with his lungs and such. My mother on the other hand is really young and healthy, so I’m grateful that I can be sure she’ll be around for a while longer. :)

  6. I think losing a family member is a honest fear to have. I have it too I think. Maybe not so much a fear though, but more a strong dread. I don’t want it to happen. It happened once and although I was quite young I remember every detail, and it was horrible :( Also, spiders would be near my top too because I can’t stand them either. I will become the frightened girly girl as well. Don’t matter size, type, when or where. I am absolutely petrified!

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